Feel Like Christmas?

Late Christmas Day, my wife commented to me that it didn't feel like Christmas.  I agreed with her and it got me wondering why and I ended up asking myself two questions.

The first was, "Why didn't it feel like Christmas?"  I think I have the answer to that question. After spending 11 hours at Church on Christmas Eve, participating in four Christmas Eve services, then driving 3 1/2 hours to my mom's place (half of it through blowing snow), arriving just before 1 am, getting to bed at 2 am, then getting up late Christmas morning, unwrapping presents, wolfing down a big turkey dinner, watching two movies and crashing totally exhausted that night, I didn't have time to feel anything much more than frantic exhaustion.

When I think about it, it hasn't felt like Christmas in years, especially since being on staff at a church.  November and December are just one big blur of activity leading up to Christmas Eve and by the time Christmas Day arrives I am tired and my only desire is to crash.  Which leads to my second question, "What is Christmas supposed to feel like?"

I don't have the answer to this question.  If I look at Mary and Joseph, my Christmas looks rather laid back.  They had nine months of mystery, confusion and nasty rumours. Mary spent most of that time at her cousin's place.  They had to travel to Bethlehem with Mary full term in her pregnancy, camp out in a stable while she gave birth, have their privacy invaded by shepherds and kings and eventually they had to get out of town and head to Egypt.  I'm not sure that they had warm fuzzy expectations about Christmas. 

In fact when it comes down to it, they felt, what they felt, when they had to feel it, because of the particular circumstances they were in.  At times their feelings would have been a reaction to their situation and at other times they probably tried to rise above their circumstances and choose to feel hope, or peace or whatever.  Their emotions would have run the complete gamut from fear, to awe, to hope, to confusion, to anger, to joy. 

Maybe, that is what Christmas is supposed to "feel" like.  In fact maybe Christmas is not about feelings at all.  Maybe, it is simply something real that takes place and how we feel about it is how we react and interact with that reality.  Maybe, our feelings are secondary.  It didn't matter how Mary, or Joseph, or the people of Nazareth, or Caesar, or any of the others felt.  It only mattered what they did with it.  The Bible says that Mary treasured these things and pondered them in her heart.  Maybe, emotional exhaustion is alright, as long as I choose to treasure these things and reflect on what they truly mean.

Top 10 LIST

I read somewhere that, if you want to attract readers, you should publish LISTS. Apparently, people love to read LISTS - which is why you are reading this LIST post. So, I thought I would publish a top ten LIST of the reasons why you shouldn't post a top ten LIST.


The Top Ten Reason For NOT Publishing a Top Ten LIST
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10. Seven of the top 10 reasons are so lame no one laughs.
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9. You can't publish a list without having to insert a celebrity's name.
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8. - 2. These are the seven really lame reasons, so I am sparing you.
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1. Oprah!

Not Really Communicating

I posted a link to my Blog on my Facebook Page, which surprised one of my daughters. She asked why I had a Blog - she also wrote, "who R u? lol". I explained that I was at a church communicators conference and they said that a Communications Pastor should have a Blog. The idea is that I should blog about stuff that is relevant to the church that I serve at and advertise the Blog , so that people at the church can go online and see what I have to say.

That all seems reasonable, except for the fact that so far I haven't written anything of relevance to the people at my church and except for noting that I have a Blog on my Facebook Page (which only 16 people have access to - none of which go to my church), I haven't advertised that I have a Blog. So, that brings the discussion back full circle - Why do I have a Blog?

If I ever figure that out you will be the first to know.

Which brings up an important issue - who is reading this Blog. I downloaded somekind of Google program that tracks usage and lacking a degree in computer programming, I have no clue how to add a sitemap so that it can track my pages. I have read the help pages, but they are in a completely foreign language to me. So, not willing to spend the next six months learning how to code HTML or XML or whatever it is they want, I can only hope that people will leave comments, since I can't get the tracking software to do much more than list out undecipherable statistics about heaven knows what!

No Time To Do

I find that the older I get, the less time I seem to have.  A little over six years ago we moved to a new city, because I had changed jobs.  For two weeks we stayed in an apartment, while we waited for our house purchase to close.  During those two weeks I had no To-Do lists.  There was nothing to do around the apartment and I was up to my eyeballs in meetings with my new job, so I didn't have time to put together a To-Do list.  It was wonderful!  My time was mine, without the guilt of feeling obliged to do something.

Now I rate a day as successful or satisfactory or fulfilling or whatever, by how many items I check off my To-Do list.  I start each day, even my day off work, by creating a list of items to accomplish.  If I don't check off many items, I go to bed dissatisfied.  If I play hooky and don't make a list, I feel guilty.  My mantra for years has been "being, not doing", but I'm a hypocrite, because I measure my life, by the things I do.

I never seem to have time, because I am always either engaged in doing something, or feeling guilty because I'm not doing something.  I know that my lists are far too long, but I don't want to give anything up.  And, then I complain.

I know that there is this big trend towards simplifying our lives, but I don't want a simpler life, just one where I don't feel guilty about those things that I have assigned myself to do and haven't gotten to.  I think that simplicity comes, not from eliminating items on the list, as much as it comes from being patient about the ones, that you just can't get to, yet.

Yesterday, I finishing rebuilding a travel guitar that I had made 8 years ago.  She has never played very well, and I knew that I would have to do some major work on her - her name is Gabriella ("Gaby").  I have felt guilty for years, for not getting around to fixing Gaby.  I finally had the time these past three weeks and now she is done and tomorrow she makes her debut at church - I'm playing Hey Jude on her.  I realized as I was working on Gaby, now was finally the time that I could give to rebuilding her.  My problem wasn't the 8 year gap, nor was it the time I took to rebuild her.  The problem was feeling obliged and guilty during those 8 years, rather then just accepting that it wasn't yet the time to work on her.

So, my next To-Do item, is to relax and not get all hung up about the massive list of things I have yet to get to.  Their day will come.  Now, where is that list ;-)